That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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