We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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