All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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