Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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