so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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