U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize