hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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