I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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