You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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