I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
