tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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