do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
cat food counts as protein by the way
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
