Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
