So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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