Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Only a mothe r could love this liver
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
