K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
