and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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