Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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