Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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