Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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