I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
