i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just pee around me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
