I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
