It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He? As in you personified your dick?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
