so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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