sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
