god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
