3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
