idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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