Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
