Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
