Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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