I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to calm my uterus...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
