You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize