Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
