he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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