Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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