That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
