her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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