their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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