We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
