Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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