Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
