fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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