Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
