That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
