btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize