Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
