Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
BRING THE BAGELS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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