I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
