note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
