I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize