Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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