R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
