My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
