I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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