Michael Bay diarrhea
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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