So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
