we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize