There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
