he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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