Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize