He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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